Jack S. Marshall Special Guest Educator

Getting Old Is Not For Sissies

Written by Jack S. Marshall

Senior_Travel Rose

Someone once said that: “getting old is not for sissies!” I’m beginning to learn this first hand. It’s so unfair. You’ve paid your dues of raising the children, working nine to five for forty years and finally paid off the mortgage. Now, life is really ready to begin! No matter what scientists say about when life begins, life begins when the kids move out and the dog dies. Just when you think you’re ready for it to begin, all of a sudden your body and mind begins to lose it. The following story says it all.

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know … The one that’s red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”

Here’s the solution to getting old and feeble and facing the prospect of a rest home.  The average cost for staying in a rest home per day is $200. A cruise per day is about $135. You can just go on continual cruises, saving $65 a day!

Consider the perks of a cruise over a rest home. You can have as many as 10 meals a day. You can waddle to the restaurant, or you can have room service, which means you can have breakfast in bed every day of the week. A cruise ship has at least three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo. How about free soft serve ice cream 24/7! They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. You get to meet new people every seven to fourteen days. You get clean sheets and towels every day, and you don’t even have to ask for them. They even clean your room twice a day. Leave your socks and dirty clothes on the floor, when you come back to your room at night your clothes have been fashioned into a monkey or a snake or an aardvark. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on a cruise ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. Now get a load of this. Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Europe, name it, they’ll take you there! What rest home will do that for you? Now the best part! When you die, they provide free burial at sea!

So hurry and get your cell phone and make a cruise reservation before you forget where you set your cell phone down.